There is nothing that the fragmentary “me” that we believe ourselves to be, can do to get rid of the ego. All spiritual practices regarding the ego self that focuses on getting rid of the “idea” of their being a physical or mental being are not grounded in Divinity and actually feed the idea of their actually being an ego. If we try and improve the ego we become more attached to the idea of it, and that only leads to feelings of isolation.
What we really are cannot be acquired because we already are it. The ego is really an impermanent and repetitive thought, reacting to emotions and bodily sensations. However, when “We” are moved or astonished by the beauty of a piece of music or the splendor of a sunset, the ego leaves us. And, there is a profound sense of freedom, completeness, and being Home. During those moments of joy and connection, the idea of their being an ego is nonsensical. Only joy has access to joy and eternity is eternal. What plunges us into a search for eternity is the erroneous idea that true Beingness is not ever-present.
Our project together is the reabsorption of the “ego” into the true Self or Beingness. This appears as both a gradual letting go of an egoic point of view and a sudden illumination (there is the direct experience of there being 40 to 50 percent more light in that space that we are in). That puts an end to the search for what cannot be truly lost and an ongoing switch away from made-up stories of the past and future expectations. We can then allow the ego the choice to DIE or to become a servant to a deeper truth about the nature of reality. We get to define what that means in a functional way, in the present moment.
I will facilitate that transition from the attachment to being an isolated self to being a servant to something already integrated. “And, the artist formally known as the ego can choose to be the mouthpiece that tries to explain something that it cannot actually understand, or I will be the pallbearer at the ego’s funeral. It really is a choice!
At the start of last night’s energy work (assisted by mushrooms) I found myself in a space of what felt like super heavy energies. Strangely, I felt the desire to go hang out with these energies, and have a cup of “Joe”. Mind enjoyed this space so much that it mistakingly killed itself.
Once I understood that I am ever Present and trying to become present is only going to push me further away from experiencing it, sort of as Cherise alluded to the magnets that push apart when the wrong poles are facing each other. The ego does a good job of distracting us into a story where Presence is temporarily forgotten. When truly focused on the moment the thoughts cannot intrude until we lose that focus in the Now. Then ego jumps in and tries to explain what just happened and it’s off and running. But it is comforting to know Presence is always there and requires no thing to be experienced.
St. Barbara…for me, the guided journeys to St. Barbara are increasingly stronger. They started with feeling an electrical current running along of my fingers of my left hand. Next, it was an invitation to open, followed by a sensation of being drawn to her, lifted up and pulled to her (like a static charge). On Thursday, it was as though the electrical current came in through my feet and spread through my body until it reached my head. I literally could not move. The energy remained a steady hum. It did not exit but stayed until I was jolted back. There is also something different about her introduction. With most plant Spirits or guides, I am introduced, like seeing them while they are hanging out or coming into the space. There is a there is a glance, a response, a glimpse of the “personality”, a start of a conversation, the start of a connection. This is different. It’s like “I” have always been known to her, watched and studied and now being invited to get to know her better. I understand that each guide/teacher/spirit has something to teach and that by spending time with them and clearly asking, the information may be shared. While I will spend more time with her, I don’t understand what she is trying to teach. Along with lightening and being the saint of people who work with explosives, what are some of the lessons she shares? Anyone like to share their experiences around this? She feels incredibly powerful and serious, and it feels as though I have just begun the interview process..
I felt very peaceful and my experience continued throughout the night. I felt electrical energy my first time around. Maybe she is getting our attention or confirming she is present.
Perhaps she gives each what they need. I would be aware of any changes in how I am experiencing in my daily life. More peaceful? More tolerant? More grateful? More self-care, etc.
Man…ego really took me over today! Stress, anxiety, resentment, anger and the feeling that all I want to do is sell everything and take off for the hills so I don’t have to interact anymore with it! What a heavy feeling this creates within. Lately, the triggers have been inefficient people who either don’t do their jobs or fall into the “void” of the system and don’t know how to, or care to, or want to. I felt like a trapped animal in the cage of ego and all I wanted to do was pounce! I have to shift my focus from expecting inefficiency to “allowing” each incident to open, like a flower does to the sun. I see this and for the most part I live this but man, whew, I was a bitter person today! I feel lighter now because I am apart from it and I feel grateful that I have this place to come to. Thankyou for providing this sanctuary which helps me reflect and share. Wow, what a ride! Namaste
Magnetism…
I spent time today in silence, observing the push and pull of ego. Much like the forcefield emitted from a magnet, which can push and pull. You know that feeling of placing two magnets together and noticing how firmly they attach to oneanother, then you change their positions and they resist eachother and can’t connect because of a powerful invisible forcefield between them. Being a silent witness today, I watched present thoughts push into my space and marveled how effortlessly silence pushed them away. Magical…
>Musings<
I offer these out as Signposts or Knowings that have and continue to illuminate the Path of Knowing, absent a personal self or ego…
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I should not be feeling this way!
Spiritual “Practices” are a common trap. When do we stop practicing and just play?!
Be a living example of Presence.
Consciously live a life of service.
It’s very important to Serve yourself first before serving others.
Humor is a precious reminder to remain open to the moment.
Bow to yourself, others, and life. Who cares if someone is looking?!
Create something, anything.
Sit in silence!
Expectations and memories are time-bound mind traps.
Be a mirror for others.
Slow down and remain open to the moment.
Create the life you want to live.
If I do this, then I will get that. (Time trap)
Knowing without a knower is rooted in, and fostered by Innate body awareness.
Responsibility rather than blame.
Mistakes are how we learn.
Chew food slowly (50 chews per mouthful). (No one is looking)…
Fresh eyes are wise eyes.
Listen to, or get lost in playing music!
Devotional Chants that point to the Permanent nature of Self and Reality are true ego-busters. (Try Aad Guru Nameh sung by Deva Premal)
That devotional chant is an offering of Love, and a respectful Bow to something greater than the idea of you and me.
The true role of the Shaman is to kill, or threaten to kill the ego. If it wishes to live it must take the job of assistant.
I will be an eternal witness to my painting and drawing and write in my Studio Log what shows up. I’m walking on a New unknown road and also appreciate feed back from those around to say what they see. A simple stroke in one piece was described as a Bridge, which I had not seen. Namaste. Love.
Change , the unknown can be off putting, at the least. Try to remember that you created in one fashion or another the things that you cherish. You will paint a whole new life when you move. It won’t be old and familiar, but it will open you up to new possibilities. And at some point they will be the new familiar. It helps to remember that we are always home, no matter where we are.
Here are a few suggestions for how to get ready for our meeting this Saturday.
1. Make the conscious choice to assume the position of the Eternal Witness between now and then. Sit in silence for at least 20 minutes at a time, as often as you can. I know the ego is struggling when it chimes in with: “How long do you think you can do this?” It hates it when the Witness replies with “Doing what!?
2. Slow down! Try chewing every bite of a meal 50 times. Walk from “here to there” as slowly as possible, being mindful of every step taken. Allow here and there to merge together.
3. Show the people in your life that you love them. Tell them that you love them.
4. Listen to, or play some music that inspires presence and peace of mind. Notice what happens to the ego when you do so.
5. Show up on Saturday.
6. More to come…
It is a choice, but not the egos to make. The role of the Shaman is to introduce timelessness into the flow of life. When moved by the beauty of a piece of music, a sunset, or the sound of flowing water, the ego is conspicuously missing. Even an impermanent concept, like an ego, really knows of its impermanence.
Even when I chose to follow egos nonsense, there is always a watcher that’s not impressed. There is an instantaneous understanding that a mindset or attitude is not in alignment with true self. My choice