There is a certain anxiety of dislocation that is not a physical reference, but a nod to a compelling mental discomfort. For me, life has always felt like something is coming together; as I am falling apart…
The Bardo of In-between!
by Keshav | May 3, 2020 | Community Insights | 8 comments
I resonate with so much here that I had to post a comment. The weirdest thing happened when we stopped going to school buildings and I was directed not to go to the office anymore or to kids’ homes: I relaxed. I do not like an office environment, and going to students’ homes is very uncomfortable for me, even though I love working one on one with kids. Social anxieties would crop up, and I’d cover it, but I was sweating and tense the whole time I was in anyone’s house. I wanted and needed an extended rest, so I was so grateful to be able to meet with kids from home. I had nagging aches and pains that went away. Of course I was also scared for myself and everyone else, and felt fear, but all of those aches and pains went away. As bizarre as it was for most of the things we’d normally do to stop, it felt congruent and right, and like, on some level, I was planning for it unconsciously. I could retrace all kinds of small things that I had done that prepared me for this moment.
I agree, Keshav, that I do not want to go back to normal, and I am committed to creating a different world, first by getting rid of this corrupt and evil gov’t that hurts, lies and steals, and to fight for everything you mentioned that is urgent, mostly better care of others, and a more sane schedule and relationship to “busy-ness”. I do feel like things are falling back together, and I saw the shape of the number 8, thing fall from the top into the bottom, and theyare falling together into that bottom circle of the 8/infinity. I am scared, I am grieving a lot, my students and their families are, too, and I am okay.
As often as I catch myself going to war over the things mentioned above, I know that wars to not solve anything.
Martin Luther King, Jr is one of my favorite people; such an example and an inspiration.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
“We may have all come on different ships, but we’re in the same boat now.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
Welcome to the Shamanic Superbowl! (Picture me holding pom-poms)
When falling apart I lose my identity, which is very hard on the ego. Suffering ensues until I reach out for that "me" that doesn't change. That space is timeless, unchanging. It is the "solid rock on which I stand, all other ground is sinking sand."
What we “imagine” is normal is but a dream. A misunderstanding of what is real and what is not. That is, unless we keep ourselves firmly planted in the now.
It appears to me that this quarantine is affording me the opportunity to experience the “In-Between” much like the space that holds together the world of form. It is an opportunity to connect to go out of my mind and connect to the heart and experience more profoundly the interconnectedness of the entire world/universe.
As we bumble our way back to what we imagine is normal – what are we really going back to?